Dealing with loneliness is no easy matter as humans are naturally sociable. We like to interact with each other, be part of a group, and enjoy a sense of belonging, this is part of our herd instinct.
Dealing with loneliness isn’t restricted to age or gender
if left to develop, it can destroy happiness, quality of life, and your health. It can cause you to become self obsessed, introspective and may induce feelings of isolation. This all upsets the natural rhythms and balance of the body.
Overcoming loneliness is especially hard when it happens suddenly, such as the death or departure of a loved one. When this happens and there are no family or any sort of support group to call on, it might be advisable to consider a counselor or coach to help you through the first dark days.
If money is tight contact a charitable organization that has programs in place to deal with this type of situation. Some of these groups are really wonderful; don’t be afraid to ask for help, it may help to get you on track sooner rather later.
Many people especially older folk turn to pets which help to take the edge off loneliness; however there is no real substitute for human company. Social interaction stimulates the brain, adds to the enjoyment of life, allows you to see different points of view and experience things from different perspectives. It also helps to keep you young.
In dealing with loneliness
you may have to overcome other issues first. Many people who are lonely are actually suffer from shyness or lack of people skills, this in turn causes the loneliness. These types of drawbacks inhibit people from making friends or forming relationships. If you lack friends or a social life here are some strategies that may help.
- First of all its important to work out why you are lonely. To work on a solution you must know what causes the problem.
- Maybe you work long hours and don’t have time to meet people.
- Is it simply because you are too shy to interact with others.
If you are really shy try building up your people skills gradually. Make it your mission to speak to someone different every day, just a smile and greeting will be enough. People who are happy or cheerful give off vibes that make it easy for others to respond to them.
Don’t try to be something your not, this will put people off. If you are relaxed and at peace with yourself people will feel comfortable around you. On the whole people are friendly and will respond cheerfully to a smile and greeting.
If you get a negative response don’t take it personally, just persevere and you will get more hits than misses. To make it easy speak to people you see on a regular basis, if you find it too difficult just make eye contact and smile. This will help you to build up confidence and will become easier over time.
If your loneliness is more to do with not meeting people then it’s down to you to go where the people are. For this reason clubs are the ideal solution, if you have a hobby or pastime, no matter what it is, you can guarantee someone will have started a club. Do some research for your area and see what is available, all clubs love to welcome new members.
Charities are always desperate for people to help out, like clubs they are many and varied and span all age groups; there really is something for everyone. If you want to interact with lots of different people join a charity with retail outlets. You may also have skills that are very useful or helpful in areas that you don’t realize. These types of activities keep you busy and busy people are less likely to be lonely.
Loneliness can lead to apathy, when this happens it’s possible to lose interest in meeting people and retreat into seclusion. Dealing with loneliness of this type, you must make the effort to do something. If you haven’t got a hobby or interest try something new. If you have a hobby but there is no local club start your own, not only will you help yourself you will help others too.
Disabilities or imagined shortcomings
can cause people to shrink away from contact, they think everyone they meet is focused on their faults, and this simply isn’t true. Most people are focused on themselves, this is natural and means most of the time they don’t see what you think is obvious. Any detective will tell you that people aren’t aware of what is happening around them, get your worries into perspective and don’t let insecurities hold you back.
Dealing with loneliness may not be easy but you can make it happen. If you have trouble formulating a strategy my article on goal setting may help you. If you think you need help to overcome loneliness then I have a coaching session that might help. Just email me.
Life is full of choices don’t choose to be lonely.